"ok, tak pe, tak de pape.."

Homesick. Sumpah.. asal tah homesick kali n teruk sangat.. aku rasa nak menangis sekarang, tapi ….

planned to call ibu today. But she just busy. Lepas berkali-kali kol, akhirnya panggilan berjwab, but along yg jawab instead, asking if I can call ibu another time. Sedih. Sumpah sedih. Tapi semua tu tak terungkap.

“ade bende penting ke nak cakap?”,along. 

 “ok, tak pe lah kalau macam tu, nanti aku kol balik” fine.

 Lepas beberapa jam kemuadian, try kol balik. Macam tadi, lepas 3 ke 4 kali kol, baru dapat.

 “hmm, kol nanti boleh tak?” nada macam ade masalah.

 hiding my fellings; “oh, ok.bye”. Again, ibu asked me to call her later. I knew that they r having hard time now (of solving along’s prob), but I just wanted to talk to her, so bad…

So, I called her few hours later. Now, she sounds much more delightful than before. 

“hmm.. ye, ade ape?”, ibu.

ye, memang tak de benda penting pon nak cakap. Just nak mengadu semua benda. Plus, masalah datang bertimpa-timpa sekarang ni. Rasa nak give up, semualah. I knew that if I told her that I’m some kinda homesick and all those fellings in me, I will ruin everything. So then, again mengalah…

“oh, saje..nak kol..tak de pape pon”

 everything spurted from her mouth was about Along n the ceremony (kak oya’s), which I don’t want to hear at all at that time.“Ibu kite homeeess…” tak terluah jugak perkataan tu sebab ibu pon macam tak kesah n terus bercerita.. hancur.  Air mata dah betakung. Oleh kerana tak nak ibu sedar yg aku tengah sedih, I just plan to end the conversation. But before I’m about to, she’s the one who did it.

 “hmm..ok lah nantilah cakap lagi eh?bye” 

*beeepp*

 “ok. bye. assalamualaikum”

Luluh.

Luruh akhirnya air mata.