Tonight I asked my
friend sahabat about you-can-guess-what. "Hani, macam mana ni?? Aku tak tahu macam mana nak deal ngan situasi aku sekarang. Aku tak nak sesat dan jadi bodoh macam sebelum ni. Perasaan macam ni normal kan? Tapi macam mana sebenarnya yang Islam benarkan? Aku ade perasaan tu tapi macam mana aku nak buat??! Aku tak nak sesat! " And she asked me to watch this video from Nouman Ali Khan, Love is Hormonal. (if I'm not mistaken)
"Aku tak berpengalaman weh. So credibility tu... tak de. Karang kalau aku cakap, orang kata 'eleh dia ni tak faham. Sebab dia tak rasa apa yang aku rasa'."
"Tak weh. Pada aku, pengalaman tak establish credibility seseorang tu. Boleh jadi je pengalaman dia yg dia ada tu tak betul. Pengalaman dia tak ikut jalan yg sepatutnya (so moral value from that particular pengalaman yg dia rasa betul tu, sebenarnya tak betul). Faham tak?"
"Hmm boleh jadi jugak... "
"Sebab aku dah banyak nampak perkara ni. Dia duk cakap kencang 'kita kene itu..'kita kene macam ni..' tapi at last dia macam hmmm buat gak.. So lebih baik aku ambil pendapat hang yg aku rasa aku boleh terima ni."
Yes, they do tell me not to do this and that to the extend that I have somekind of feeling that tells me 'hey, is
she jealous or what?' Ok. I would say that this statement is valid and pointed especially to that
one person (a friend of mine and Inshaa Allah, Allah wills, my sahabat. *Amin*)
Aku percaya Hani sebab aku tahu kami sama. Be it thru our preference all this while (in fashion, attire, opinion etc) , the way we think of something and our background ( in general). Aku tahu dia faham aku. Dan aku pasti aku faham dia, setakat ni. Jadi aku rasa kami sama. She's the reflection of me (sort of). Apa yang dia nak kata biasanya adalah benda yg aku akan kata. So bila aku macam tak jadi diri aku, aku try mintak pendapat dia, so that aku tahu tang mana yg aku macam tak jadi diri aku or sesat. Ha.. Lebih kurang macam tu lah cerita dia. Panjang pulak dah ni.
Ok. I dont know where is this topic might go.. Is it that I am judging
her (
that girl. bcs we got so much issues lately), or I dont want myself to be BODOH again (sebab biarkan maruah sebagai muslimah dipijak dan mengendahkan perkara yang Allah keji)OR trusting my sahabat, Hani. Whoaaa that is too rigid Zati.
However, I am indeed glad that even in that situation, I managed to "sedar diri" and didn't get drowned easily. Alhamdullilah. He knows best. Like it easy for girls to get deeply in love menggg. I believe. that is so.
And people, before I end, I believe that in every situation and every single thing that you do or ought to, "Sedar Diri" is vital. I bet you guys wouldn't see it now, but when the time comes, you will eventually understand this. Assalam.
April 2014
