Salam perantau 2016

Semester 1 of 2016 had been the most hectic, the most unfortunate, the most tragic, the most horrible chapter of my life here. So much heartbreaks too, that I almost lose my patience, my self. (Thank goodness belajar psychopathology en, so macam bersyukur sikit at least sihat mental kalau tak dah jadi gila agaknya huhu). From family problems, 'feelings' matters, academic issues to financial crisis. Having some misunderstanding here and there with my bestfriend has made it worse too.
Have I mentioned that I didnt get the winter research thingy? AND Kim came haunting me with all of her dirty ways of blackmailing me. Yes I almost jahdjkabfjkash. But life must go on. So there goes my savings. Thank goodness Allah granted me with these little angles. They helped me all the way through. Alhamdulillah at least masalah dah settle jugaklah satu.
Did some babysitting job during winter break, and some other 'job'. Bcs that's all I could do. huhu.
Winter break was more like broke, yes that other break. Now WHERE'S MY CUTI GONE?!
Sedih jugaklah cerita dia, Tak kemana, tak balik raya, kene kerja, duduk sorang kat rumah bila tak kerja. (buat teruk) haha. Thank god ada lah jugak orang jemput open house here and there. THANK YOU SEMUA ATAS IKHSAN INGATAN TULUS IKHLAS DAN KASIH SAYANG :')

P/s: Sorry for the delay. Tak sempat plus tak bersemangat nak update blog cuti haritu huhu.

Oh now dah week 3 dah pun. Wish me luck and shoot me some duas cuz IT'S MY FINAL SEMESTER HERE GUYS! Pretty please, studying psychology is not always a breeze and of butterflies cotton candies flowery :') Heater yg kata psyc senang tu boleh pergi meninggal lols, Kidding. I mean you guys can try taking 2nd yr or 3rd year courses for elective, for assurance lol. haha. Well sukahati lah heater pon ada their own onion opinion kan. OH AND, kalau sis ada salah or hutang sorry sorry sorry and boleh tuntut. Bye gtg. Assignment awaits. Till next time. Assalamualaikum wbt.

Why me?

Hi bloggie,
Lemme rant once again and get annoyed pls.
So ive been telling you millions of sad stories (of mine) lately. For that, I am really sorry. At this point, I cant really cry anymore.Things happened and I cant really run from it.
I felt sorry to myself. I promised myself to not cry if the guy I (always) wished to stay, finally leaves me. I was so dumb. I shouldnt hv cried. I wished someone could slap me or something. But I guess my heart just couldnt help it. Although my brain was strong enough, I couldnt help thinking about it. Stunned and shaken up still.
Been waiting wishfully, quietly and been saving my soul for him for almost three years. yep, I guess this is one of the reasons why. Well, I somehow feel betrayed. Pity you juno, cuz you have been fooled way too easily. I guess I am always everyone's second option anyway. You are so used to this juno. Yes you are.
And you should have listened to your sister's advice. So it's all your fault too. Fairy tales dont work on you kid. haha.
But deep inside, I still think that what he's done as wrong and a liltle bit harsh too. Sometimes I wish I wasnt a part of the TGBians, and so that we never know each other. Oh well everyone doesnt seem to care abt what you think and how you feel anyway juno. Silly me.

Well, let's just forgive and forget like you always did juno. You are one strong girl anyway. And after all, you should love yourself more than anyone else. And at least you know that people change, a man like him exists and hati manusia cepat berubah. That's a bit unfair tho bcs Ive been so loyal all this while. Hm. Mungkin kene lebih hati kering lagi lepas ni. Haha.

At the moment, I am a bit worried abt myself cuz everything doesnt seem to interest me and my appetite is worsening. And my salt intake is increasing each day :( aaa I cant help myself. Halp.
Urgh please dont fall sick yet dear self. You have so much to do.
Anyways, I am glad that I am able to concentrate on assignments and being able to control my emotion still, when I am with my friends.
Nevertheless, I feel blessed to know these beautiful souls of mine :) Thanks my little angels you guys are like the best thing that happen in my life.

Till we meet again.

Not okay

Hi bloggie,
I am so sad right now. I just dont know how to think and what to feel anymore but all I know is I wanted to cry but I couldn t. Why is it always me I wonder.. I don t know where to go or where to start now.. Everybody doesn't seem to care or maybe that s because I don t let them. Often I feel like ditching everybody these days I get tired and angry and give up way easily. I am probably the most horrible human being to be feeling like this sorry.. I wish to just stop and escape whatever burden I am in now.  Oh Lord I m so sorry

No time for this but,

Hi guys!
Howissitgoin? I currently have sooo much to say or rather to tell you here. But but I still dont know where and how to start. Sorry for being too complicated. (And yes i procrastinate things sometimes hehe) Plus, Im pretty busy right now too. Till next time maybe?
Till next time it is. bye ! ;)

Haruno Juno Sakura

Makin menginjak dewasa ni (dewasa ke?) Juno makin teruk emotion management. She's no longer a Hatake Kakashi. Who's always rational, cool (damn cool), prioritizes his mission over love (in my case, it should be study over this hormonal and hopeless feelings lah kan). Come on Juno. You are so sooo much better than this. Seriusly guys, no. No, you should never 'layan perasaan' or 'mengeluh' cuz syaitan will always try 'his'(yep, a bit sexist here luls) very best to drive you to negativity and those overthinking and bad things and finally to hell.
Like really. You know what is the similarity between sakura and yourself (I mean, myself)? You are both useless IF you dont get up and fight ! Prove that you are stronger than this. Cuz juno macguff and haruno sakura are both the kind of person who would have gotten up 7 times when they fell 6 times. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger gurlzz. zzz.
But seriously. What had happened lately wears me down. I feel like giving up each day. I havent get any reply from the potential researchers yet, plus the requirements are so overwhelming reckon I could have gone crazy just thinking about it. I am so passionate on participating in this year's winter research cmon guys (cuz I didnt get to join summer research last year). I need yall to respond to my emails! Please.
AND, Kim just texted me, asking for my email address, so that he/she could send me the quote to repair his/her bumper. God. Patut ke haritu tak payah tinggal nombor phone pon kat kereta dia, sikit je pun scratch (rite..?) tapi nanti macam tak jujur pulakkan dah langgar bumper kereta orang, tapi kau bukan mampu sangat pon nak bayar cost repair DUA bumper kereta orang juno!! aaaaaaa ! I am so done :((( There goes my savings, my money (i meant MARA's). Help. Help. I need some mental support here. Sesiapa baik hati, juno needs some more stocks of drugs (she meant, chocs) to get this through. (ye, sedar jugak takde org baca pon blog ni so saja nak merepek huahua).
And, the pressure of being a third year student pon sama naik dah ni kan, hm. Berlawan-lawan nampaknya masalah ni dahagakan perhatian. *cries* Mental breakdown wont get you anywhere but.. Why. Why cant I escape from this reality and be back just after every single thing fits perfectly at its place. aaaa sedihnya.... D:
Ya Allah Ya Allah tolong Nurizzati ni.
*Back to business *
p/s: doakan juno dpt offer winter research guys. plus, moga semua dipermudahkan.

A new year, same old me

How s your life going so far, mate? Is everything follows exactly like what you've planned?
Well mine was a bit messy here and there. I bet this is because ... No. I actually have no reason for that. The thing is, I am too damn lazy to move my ass and everything seems to be such a drag for me. Urgh. Perhaps I need to do some working or intern or jadi cikgu tuisyen sementara kat taman or be a little more useful kat rumah but burn... lambat sangat sedar kau juno. Semua tak menjadi cuti ni. Tup tup Air Asia dah panggil balik :( Sedih tau kene balik Bne cepat pastu hari tu balik Msia lambat. huhu. Tiket mahal *blames everyone*

Oh ya, last night after some Naruto Shipuuden(s), I did some muhasabah diri before tido. *Since it is already new year but I am still the same me*
I realized that there are so many things that I want to do in my whole life (this remaining years/months/weeks/days/hours/seconds). I want to better understand people thru research or in other words I want to be a successful researcher in my field, I want to be a fine teacher after that, I want to have my own organization that can better help the children in need especially in education, I want to be a tailor so that I can own all of those pretty dresses and tops in my dreams, I wish to own a cafe for my parents that at the same time can provide jobs to everyone who needs it, I want make my parents happy and I wish to be a better servant of Allah (yeah, I know that this one might seem a lil bit vague).
The thing is, how can I be more persistent in achieving these?? I bet every failed resolution caused by this penyakit "banyak sangat gebang usaha sikit dan malas dan lembik dan urgh"

Therefore dear juno, whatever it is please please please keep on pursuing your 'whatev' goals seriously and persistently. You dont go living in the dreams forever. Living the dreams instead. Make 'em happen. Bcs you dont wanna forever live in 'genjutsu' rite?

I miss home, I miss them, I miss her so much I can cry huhu

Btw, my 3 weeks trip starts tomorrow so let s shake it off ! ikuzo !