Hope remains as Hope....? Hope not...

Harapan,
You shouldn't be there, in her option list,
You shouldn't make her long for pain, again, cuz it is just unbearable,
There's no use for you to exist when in the end you're crushing her fragile,crystal world.
She just can't take it anymore when that hope remains as hope..

is she actually hoping too much??
*sigh*

Dream, Wish, Hope...

"harap nya semua harapan yang selama ini kekal harapan bukan lagi benda yang hanya untuk diharapakan. "

*diharapakan = diharapkan. :p salah eja..

#copy paste ayat ni dr blog 'noob' tu... without permission.. haha.. ampun... :)

sekian...

just know that i mean it..

tiba...tiba...

baiklah... disebabkan nak menghormati bulan Ramadhan ni, aku bertekad untuk tidak aktif di laman muka buku mahupun di laman pencicip (twitter bak kate matlut90). and kalau aku tweet or post smthg pon, aku akan pasti kan yang semuanya dapat memberi faedah kepada org lain. tak nak lagha lagi daaahh..

harap aku dapat buat macam ape yang aku dah tulis ni..

bile difikirkan balik, y not aku truskan je tekad ni even ramadhan dah habis pon....hmmm....
considered ..

ok itu sahaja..
P/s: i wont neglect u for too long my faithful blog.. trust me.. ;)

baru kusedari....

Ya.. baru hari ini aku sedar. Lepas fasa pertama ramadhan berlalu.. fasa pertama; rahmat, aku bazirkan macam tu je… aku tak tau ape masalah aku. Sepuluh hari pertama ramadhan aku hentam macam hari2 biase je, tanpa solat hajat, solat tahajud, mahupun dhuha… semata mata solat terawih. bodoh benar kurasakan diri ini…

Mungkinkah sebab ni first time aku sambut Ramadhan kat tempat yang sememangnya berbeza atmosferanya berbanding tahun-tahun lepas… sebab kat kolej. Bebas. Hidup aku tidak lagi diprogramkan oleh orang lain…

 persetankan semua alasan ni. Kalau budak ‘blog noob’ tu cakap dia tak bersedia untuk mengahadapi Ramadhan tahun ni, aku rasa aku even more tak bersedia. Langsung. At least dia cakap tak bersedia tu 1^st day Ramadhan lagi, tapi aku, ni dah masuk malam ke 11 pon… sadis…

Kosong.

Itulah yang aku rase beberapa hari lepas.. macam ade sesuatu yang tak kena.. tak sempurna. Tapi perasaan tu memang aku tak dapat nak explain kat orang lain. Ramadhan kali ni kosong. Sampailah suatu hari ni, tak ingat malam ke berape ramadhan, tapi time tu first time rasenye aku pergi masjid hidayah, sebab selama ni pergi masjid unta a.k.a. masjid al azhariah. Lepas solat maghrib tiba-tiba je aku dapat ilham (mungkin petunjuk dari ALLAH) yang sebenarnya selama ni jiwa aku kehilangan ketenangan dari ALLAH. ALLAH semacam tarik nikmat tu pergi dari aku… dan disebabkan ALLAH tu MAHA PENGASIH n MAHA PENYAYANG, DIA bagi petunjuk kat aku, in order to let me know what am I losing all this while… YA ALLAH, I’m really am touched… :’( All praises to ALLAH sebab bagi aku peluang untuk aku sedar semua benda  ni… kalau tak, aku sendiri pon tak tau yang sebenarnya jiwa aku kosong… memang susah nak tafsir semua perasaan tu… entah lah…

Beza, memang berbeza benar Ramadhan kali ini… kalau difikirkan balik, Ramadhan masa kat tgb and asrama smksg dulu memang jauh lebih bermakna. When I was in tgb, I can really feel that passion, clearly shown by them (everyone around me). They’d proven that ramadhan is not just by its name.

Aku bersyukur sangat sebab ALLAH tak putus-putus buat aku sedar yang aku perlu berubah jugak dalam bulan DIA yang mulia ni… tak nak aku tergolong dalam orang yang rugi lagi .

Semalam, aku diberi kesempatan untuk dengar tazkirah pasal peringkat ketaqwaan seseorang.

MUSLIMà MUKMINàMUKHSINàMUKHLISàMUTTAQIN

Baru aku tahu rupe-rupenye memang banyak peringkat to reach that MUTTAQIN, orang mukmin yang bertaqwa… paling tinggi di sisi ALLAH. aku memang jauh dah ketinggalan..

Satu lagi imam tu cakap, ALLAH sebenarnya dah bagi or dah kurniakan pon everything yang hamba dia perlukan, keperluan kita sebenarnya dah dipenuhi ALLAH. Ape yang kita mintak selama ni tu semua sebenarnya hanyalah kehendak semata-mata. ALLAH dah bagi cukup dah ape yang hamba DIA perlukan selama ni… cume kite memang buta, tak nampak semua tu. Kadang-kadang ALLAH tak bagi sesuatu yang kita mintak tu mungkin sebab DIA tau yang benda tu mungkin boleh memudaratkan diri kita… 

jadi, bersyukurlah dengan ape yang kita ada. Jangan bersangka buruk kat DIA kalau kita masih tak dapat ape yang kita pinta even dah doa banyak kali sekalipun, sebab ALLAH tau ape yang terbaik untuk kita. Percayalah… DIA tau semua. Mungkin ayat2 ni agak cliché, tapi dah slalu dengar pon kekadang orang which is manusia, still  tak faham maksud sebenar ayat2 yang dikatakan cliché ni… hmmm… acane tu??

Jadi, kini, hari ini, malam ke 11 ramadhan ni, aku bertekad untuk mengindahkan lagi hari- hari aku di bulan yang mulia ini. Semalam pon time kol malin (sahabat baik) dah terluah n terlerai segala kekusutan.

“wei, malin, nak tau tak? Aku tak pernah lagi qiyam doh kat sini, bulan ramadhan ni…”

“Weh, asal doh? Ni bulan ramadhan kot, banyak pahala kalau buat solat sunat”

 (ayat malin lebih kurang cam nilah..)

Bila malin cakap je macam tu, senario ketika ramadhan di tgb dulu terus bermain di fikiran...

Semangat aku, malin, ds,(ramai lagi, tapi minah 2 org ni je lah yg slalu ngan aku) rebut peluang dan pahala yang ALLAH limpahkan di bulan yang mulia ini. Kiteorang buat semua benda tu sesame… tringat nasihat pendek ds bagi everytime aku cam tak semangat nak buat sume solat sunat tu… :’) trimass korang..
                                                 
                                                           Geng Sahur kat TGB (bawah)

                                                             Sambutan Raya TGB 2012 :'/

NEW BORN. RAMADHAN. Semoga Ramadhan kali ini menjadi lebih bermakna buat diri ini. Biarpun agak lambat sebenarnya untuk aku luahkan semua ini, namun bagi aku, selagi aku diberi peluang untuk bernafas, masih belum terlambat untuk aku berubah kearah yang lebih baik kan…?

So, this is it. It’s time!

p/s: harap dapat jadikan tauladan. (bukan nak mengaibkan diri sendiri atau ape2).

*tetibe je lagu raihan playing kat otak aku skarang*

‘Ku menggharapkan Ramadhan, kali ini penuh makna…’

again and again ....

"People, you shouldn't lose hope. NEVER. Never be judgemental towards yourself. It is just a shameful thing to be like one. Where the hell your pride is?? It is true that the world is just unfair sometimes but at least be JUST to yourself, to your life. Remember that, strong wall shakes but never collapse. Build that confidence in you and keep on moving and trying your very best. Losing hope is just for the losers. Prove it to them that you're someone in this world and not just anybody useless. Your spirit, your desire are what made you.."

~This is how my convincing speech looks like...~ (tak sangka dalam pada panik tahap dewa time tu pon aku boleh tulis speech panjang ni..ingatkan aku akan tulis 2 ayat je.. -.-)

so the task given by miz nash was, "make a short speech that can make the world hear and listen to you(your speech)" upon hearing this,,, my heart sank.. 0.0 man!! berderau terus darah.. dah la kene present! memang tak de idea langsung nak tulis pasal ape.. sebab panik tahap dewa! till then i'm hoping and praying to Allah that she would not call my name to be in front. cuak! but...
things just not turn up like i wished..
too bad.. kene panggil jugak.. reda walaupun hakikatnya memang langsung tak sedia..
miz nash cakap speech aku is more to encourage people.. hmm... boleh la tu kot..

jadi begitulah seterusnya, hari-hari aku berlalu everytime ade kelas Speech Communication. denga je pekataan speech tu rasa macam haisshh.. nigtmare.. igauan kot. Cuak! penat kalau slalu sangat macam ni... i wonder when the time will come, me, being a good speaker like that fortunate girl in our class..
Speech com. is indeed a fun and enjoyable subject to learn sebab memang tak blaja sangat pon n seronok bile tgok orang present, just promote n expose diri kat depan kelas n khalayak je but, yeah, when it comes to speak in front tu lah yang aku fail.. rase cam nak lari je..
i remember those days, upper form(tgb), oral BI or BM, aku akan mengharapkan semua classmate aku tido, so then i can deliver my speech calmly .. haha.. thanks to those people (classmate 14) yg letak kepala atas meja bila aku buat oral kat depan.. really appreciate that effortless support.. haha..trimass ;)

for me, its fine to talk in front of those people yg aku tak kenal... because u just dont know what is that about her/him(me) and they dont know anything about u.. so fair and square kan..?

so the thing that haunts me now is....
Introductory Speech hari selasa ni! being the third speaker pulak tu.. memang dah agak no 3 tu lucky number aku when it comes to introductory speech.. since 1st semester lagi..
really need someone that can encourage and make me calm now..
the topic chosen by miz nash for me was " GIRL OF STEEL" the question is, 'am i that strong??'
*sigh*
ok then, i'll try my very best...
Ya ALLAH..berilah hambaMU ini ketenangan.. 

'hidup ini tak selalunya indah'

being the second one....

found this in someone's blog and that person got this from that so called Pakar Diari Hati...
aku copy paste je ni...
i'm second ! and that's why.. haha..

TITLE : RAHSIA ANAK KEDUA.

ANAK MANJA EMAK ♥
- Sebab apa-apa pun mesti dia akan diutamakan oleh ibu. ^^

ANAK DEGIL
- Anak kedua dikatakan lebih degil, keras kepala dan tidak mendengar kata. semua dia aje yang betul. Dalam ramai-ramai adik beradik dia je yang KETEGAQ. Kemahuan dia kuat. Kalau buat sesuatu sungguh-sungguh .kalau tak nak tu, tak nak lah jawabnya, boleh dipujuk tapi selalunya tak berapa jalan.

TAK PANDAI PUJUK
- Memang anak no. 2 ni dia tak pandai pujuk makwe atau pakwe dia. 

BERCINTA
- Dia kalau bercinta, sangat setia. Sanggup berkorban.. :D

HITAM / PUTIH
- Apa yang dikatakan semua dipegang. Kalau hitam, hitam lah. Kalau putih, putih lah. Degil tak boleh toleransi.

HATI
- Anak no. 2 ni juga nampak je keras. Tapi hati dia lembut. SATU lagi pe’el dia. Dia tak boleh ditegur.

BERDIKARI
Very independent. Memang betul. Tapi kalau terlebih independent pun payah. Mudah bergaul. Very take care.

ARAHAN
- Anak no. 2 ni juga dia payah nak terima arahan. Dia lebih suka buat hal sendiri pendek kata tak boleh kerja dengan orang.

PEMAAF & CARING
- Tidak dinafikan anak no. 2 ni pun pemaaf dan caring. TAPI awas, jangan bagi diorang marah kalau diorang marah faham saje lah.

PAKAIAN
Nak semua ‘up to date’. Semua nak kemas.

~err...yg part pakaian tu rasenye cam tak tepat sikit... i'm not that up to date i guessed... just yg kemas tu maybe lah.. but most ofthe time aku suka pakai benda yg senang, simple, selesa... 3S.. haha..

gotta say yg mostly fakta di atas memang kena ngan aku... gehhh...

tanpa tajuk*

'Perasaan yang terlalu menakutkan
Perasaan yang terlalu menyeramkan
Aku ditinggal di tepi jalan
Aku ditinggal tanpa rakan dan taulan

Celakanya perasaan ini
Ku fikirkan aku bisa berdiri sendiri
Terlalu percaya pada kudrat diri
Sampai aku lupa yang aku tak mampu berdiri'

Persetankan semua ini

mungkin tulus dari hati,

namun bukan dari diri ini..

sometimes i just think that i should take sastera instead.. haha..

1st night.

JATUH. ya, 1st night lagi aku dah jatuh...

semangat sungguh aku dan sahabat2 ke masjid unta selepas solat maghrib tadi..

jalan dan lorong gelap kami susuri bersama...

mujur ada penunjuk arah..kalau tak memanglah sesat..

kami masing2 membawa beg telekung, ada juga yang terlebih bersemangat....

"wehh, kau nampak tak tu.."*tuding jari*

"ape?"

"benda putih tu...yang tengah jalan tu"

:O

semangat betul pakai telekung dulu... -.-"

kelihatan kanak2 lelaki bermain buayan di taman permainan di tepi jalan itu..

kedinginan malam ini membuatkan aku hanyut dengan keindahan malam pertama bulan yang mulia ini..

namun,

sedang aku ralit dengan simfoni alam ciptaan ilahi..

"bukk!"

'duhh' 

"wehh..kau ok tak ni??"

semua org memang prihatin...

tak de pulak diorang gelakkan..

aku je gelak .. haha

:') 

disebabkan nak cover malu..aku pon gelak je lahh...

takkan ku lupa tempat kejadian itu..

nasib tak ramai yang nampak..

"len kali, jalan pandang je depan.."

ni lah kali pertama solat terawih kat masjid luar..campur ngan org luar..(community luar)

slame ni, kat asrama ngan kat rumah je..

seronok kalau macam ni tiap2 malam..

dapat cuci mata... ;)

harap dapat maintain tiap2 malam gi masjid..

pahala setiap langkah.. even jauh sikit pon, akan kurelakan..

• malam ni kami berimamkan Ahmad,17, dari palestin, suara die sedap..
• lepas 8 rakaat kteorg choww..so then tak merasalah moreh..

baiklah.. sampai di sini saja.. 

ni video yg aku rasa smart..creative.. cume cam tak jelas sgt je die cakap ape...

sorry lah anwar hadi, lama aku abandon kau sebab matlutfi sembilanpuluhan tu..haha

lepas ni aku buat folder inianwarhadi pulak ye.. haha

mat pon dah semakin hambar.. sory mat.. pape pon aku still support hg...

hmm...

p/s : sebenarnya aku memang suka tgok org main gitar..smart.. tringin gila nak blaja main gitar suatu hari nanti...

baiklah itu sahaja..esok pon dah start kelas..

selamat malam semua.. 

blog saya takde lah noob sangat.. :p

assalamualaikum...

as i....

As i stood, gazing at the dilapidated house, i shivered as though, ice had replaced my spine.
the cold air enveloped the entire body.
the multiple layer of clothing could not protect against the deathly cold.
the walkway leading up to house were cracked.
weeds and dandelions poked out from these cracks.
red roses grown wildly in thick batches by the gate.
the moonlight cast a ghoulish glow on the house, reaching their tentacles towards the roof...

none of these ever been in my life :p

#reminiscing
#imagination

again merepek di malam hari... -.-'

malam last free... malam esok dan seterusnya dah bz... :/
aku nak cuti lagi.
ok tu je..
assalam..

haunting on and on and on...

idk why these two phrase kept on playing in my mind ..

"my life isnt always breezy..."

"aku bukan siapa siapa..."

motif sangat... --'

these words, from fynn jamal makes me think.....

"saya adalah bukti yang kita tak perlu ada degree untuk sesuatu, untuk jadi bagus dalam sesuatu..."

self-confidence level : 10/10
#salute

satu lagi yg menarik..

"Diam.
Biar.
Pusing.
Angkat kaki.
Toleh.
Senyum."
-fynn jamal

#deep

She's really something....

p/s : got no idea on what to post.. haha.. noob...

janji

jika dahulu berjanji pada diri sendiri untuk tidak memiliki akaun mukabuku sehinggalah berakhirnya kertas akhir sijil pelajaran malaysia(pegang janji sampai 5 taon kot), kini telefon pintar pula..

ya,

kami,

aku dan sahabatku ini,

akan,

berpegang pada janji kami,

untuk tidak memiliki telefon pintar,

seperti kalian,

yang mungkin nampak gah di mata mereka, dan mereka, 

sehinggalah tamat pengajian kami di pra universiti ini,

tidak dibenarkan dan tidak akan membenarkan diri ini...

kami low profile... 

:p

buat apa dicerita,

bahagia kita rasa,

biar tak dipercaya.

peduli orang kata,

Telefon buruk tak apa,

asal pakai selesa 

*melodi lagu 150juta*

 #gengtakdesmartfon

ipongg tujuh menjadi impian.. 

 hey sahabat, ingat ni tau... ;)

Happy Ramadhan muslimeen and muslimat ^_^

hey people.......!

Allahumma Ballighna Ramadhan” الَلهمَ بلَغنا رمضان “Ya Allah Sampaikanlah kami ke bulan Ramadhan...
#baru tau maksud die minggu lepas..thanks sahabat :) haha

got nothing to say actually..
hoping for a better ramadhan this year..
nahh sajak ! (hmm..mungkin sajak...atau mungkin tidak..)

Ramadhan,
I hope u can stay forever,
so that all the muslims in this world could be in their best of iman..
maybe..
i just hope..

ok tu je.. daaa.. ^^

assalamualaikum~

hmmm....

heyyy yooo ! We meet again ( we = aku dan blog ini) #sadlife follower tak de.. :/ ~  

Actually i've got no point on what to update rite now, but my fingers and my heart force me ...

gehh.. pape jelah..

So today i baked two things ; choc chip cookies (resipi cik aini hanis shuhaimi) n red velvet cake.. wuuhuuu.. at last buat jugak aku dua benda ni... lame dah nak buat sebenarnye.. baru ni ade kesempatan...(ayat cam bz sgt je)gotta say that i do love to bake since i'm in standard 5...hobi kot.. lucky to have along to help me on shaping the cookies.. kalo tak sumpah penat woo... all at once kot.. sebenarnya aku pon tak sangka jugak die nak tolong.. selama ni... hmm... memang susahla nak dapat khidmat die tu.. and kepulangan aku selalu dinantikan sebab nak makan kek air tangan diri ini yg dikatakan sedap.. :p haha.. *bajet sat*

to be honest, my first batch of cookies macam hancur sikit... ibu pulak dok komplen , "asal pucat je biskut ni..?" -.-" namun berkat usaha serta sikap tidak berputus asa aku dan kakak.. *ceh ayat bajet * (tapi ini benar..) akhirnya the second batch turns out very well.. huhu.. alhamdulillah... menjadi gak.. my sisters said, "wahh,,, biskut ni macam famous amos laahhh.." little did they know that diorg baru sahaja buat kakak die yg sorang ni bangga.. haha.. bagus adik2 ku.. macam ni lah adik.. support kakak... hmm.. :D 

straight away after buat cookies, terus pulak buat red velvet cake tu... n alhamdulillah jadi gak..! cume bahagian atas tu cam merekah sikit, but it's fine lah sebab cover ngan cream cheese.. 'i've got that  magic in me~~' haha.. excited sebab first try menjadi.. sebenarnya aku pon tak tau sejak bile aku ade keinginan nak buat kek RV ni.. dah lame ibu mintak aku buat (ni semua sebab die minat warna merah.. -.-"), tapi aku buat tak layan je sebab aku rase rupe die je yg cantik rase mesti tak seberape.. dont judge a book by it's cover lahh wei.. (note to myself) jadi aku tak sangka yg akhirnya aku buat jugak.. wawawa...

kini bertambah lah kepakaran ku dalam bidang baking2 ni... haha.. 

ok that's all for today..

sebenarnya tadi baru stalk blog org, n semua org pon nak crite pasal classmate... aku bila lagi?? hmm... suatu hari nanti mungkin... bile bace post diorg pasal classmate tu, tetibe aku jadi rindu gile2 ngan kelas 14 dulu... :'/

ok sampai di sini sahaja nukilan ku kali ini..

wasalam... :)

Aku TAK NAK BALIK lagi.......

Assalamualaikum wbt. *excited jap* (sebelum2 ni x de pulak bagi salam~ haha.. )

so again, here i am... updating my blog.. just realized that lately i'm writing my post in malay when i supposedly not. :/ walawehh.. susah gile nak cakap straight bi... ok. enough. Come On GIRL! u can DO IT! JUST DO IT ! *tetibe a.k.a suddenly :p*  one of the objectives of having this blog, is actually to improve my writing skills... *feeling determined* wahh.. so, dear AWESOME READERS (of this GREAT blog :p) ... do support me kay??  correct me if i'm obviously wrong.. i;m still learning..

so, my holidays are about to end, two days more... my sis is back... (from BTN). meaning that my family is finally complete again... been missing that family gathering.. too bad i've got to go this sunday... back to Intec.. i'll definitely miss all that precious moments with my family; abah,ibu,kaksu,alis, not forgetting along yg baru balik... :) gotta say that i'm the most rebellious daughter in my family.. especially with my mom.. when that guilt haunts me (for being rude to my mom) , almost every night, before she fall asleep, i'll sneak to her room and said, "bu, ibu marah ngan kite ke?? hmm.. nak urut kaki x?? " then she'll answer "hmm... marah la..!(not serious k..) slalu macam tu... boleh jugak nak urut kaki tuh.." then she'll smile, and i know that she'd forgive me...ok... sebak sejenak... :'( bu, kite mintak maaf sesangat , slalu melawan.. <--- jarang2 ayat ini diaplikasikan dalam kehidupan seharian ku.. hmm... teruk benar diri ini...ni semua salah ego! ngan mak sendiri pon nak ego ke?? memang tak patut... -___-  

ohhh... abah, ibu, along, kaksu, alis..............LOVE U ALL LIKE HEAVEN!

a sincere confession from ME !

this is so me.

i learnt that no matter how fast i run, leaving all that fear behind, failure will eventually waits for me, sickness will haunts me ..and that would never change a thing.. i never gonna win that race.. i have to admit that i need to face them all, to break all that stumbling blocks.. and i'm pretty sure that fear is the enemy of logic, right from the start. sometimes,in life, i can say that i'm not afraid of heights , but i'm just afraid of falling instead.. (this one is deep okay.. )

and in such 'relationship' , if you hold back what you feel because you are afraid of getting hurt, you end up hurt anyway... so just be true to your heart...you got me right..? man.. i shouldnt mention this topic.. haha

               noted that :

as for the conclusion :

bear this in mind girl! (note to myself)

this one is so me !

Holidays at HOME ;)

after a week and a half kat rumah....baru ni aku nak crite pasal holidays... macam busy sangat...

so, this time my older sis tak de kat rumah disebabkan bendalah BTN tu.. i once said that, my holidays are nothing when she's not at home... and yeahh.. my holidays are nothing now... spend most of my time in front of my beloved lappy... what else i can do? my dad and my sisters are not at home every weekdays.. so i get easily bored in the morning... lucky to have my ibu to accompany me... 

i've been thinking too much lately... and the thing is.. thinking too much has created so much problems that weren't there at the first place... keburukan internet.. (if you know what i mean)
every morning after subuh prayer i will definitely have a date with my bed.... teruk benar... rezeki tak masuk bak kate ahjusshi... nak buat cemane , every night tido kul 3 pagi... memang mengantuk lah esoknye... bangun2 je rumah dah sunyi dah... jadilah aku bibik tak berbayar after that...
yeah , it actually werent that productive holidays that i wished it were... (ayat ni nampak pelik, haha...) got no assignments can absolutely make my days at home a breezy one... heaven... i just never felt this free before...  memang tak pernah... tgb didnt allow me..living for so long in tgb can make me insane ( 2 years macam 20 years) so now, that happy- free feeling starts to fade , memandangkan cuti ku di rumah berbaki 3 hari lagi...
ikutkan hati memang tak nak balik lagi... intec memang kejam.. lagi 3 hari nak puase bkannye nak bagi je terus kiteorg cuti, dapatlah puasa 1st day tu kat rumah... lucky intec gave us enough raya holidays 5/8 till 16/8, not bad huh...but about 3 weeks after that ade exam mid sem pulak... -.-"

i can say that these remaining holidays of mine would be very hectic... everything wanted to be done all at once... hasnt bake red velvet cake...and yeah, chipsmore too... -.- barang nak bwak balik pon x beli n tak start packing lagi (hmm...mungkin awal sangat..)
conclusion, masa cutiku banyak dihabiskan di laman sesawang... what a sadlife...

#RA 2

slama sudah ku tatap skrin putih ini...
namun masih ketandusan idea..
stop and stare..... *lagu one republic tetibe*

songs of the month :

1. Tonight i'm Getting Over You - Carly Rae Jepsen
2. Still In To You - Paramore
3. Rindu Pengubat Luka - Toi
*i was planning to download these videos but...loading lame gile.., too bad...*

dah kate, tak de idea nak update ape...(cehh..bajet ramai readers je.. again~ haha)
btw, baru aku sedar, lagu2 yg aku download semuanya menggelapkan hati... haha.. lagu nasyid boleh kire ngan jari.. dah nak buat camane, semua lagu2 tu best... namun aku bertekad untuk kurangkan mendengar lagu2 yg menggelapkan hati di bulan Ramadhan nanti... In Shaa Allah...
ok, again aku merepek di malam hari..           

#RA 1

song that never gets old...

Goodbye to you my trusted friend,
We've known each other since we were nine or ten,
Together we've climbed hills and trees,
Learned of love and ABC,
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees.

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun, we had season in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
Goodbye papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
You tried to teach me right from wrong
Too much wine and too much song
Wonder how I got along

Goodbye Michelle my little one
You gave me love and helped me find the sun
And every time that I was down
You would always come around
And get my feet back on the ground

Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there

We had joy we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed, were just seasons out of time
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the wine and the song, like the seasons have all gone...

SEASONS IN THE SUN.

the melody of this song somehow suits my emotions right now...

am i always a loser?

i wonder why is it always me.... oh ALLAH.. am i that strong... but i guessed didnt see it yet my Lord.. how strong am i ?? why is it me that u always choose to face these all?? sejak dulu lagi rasenye... black sheep of the family, that's me.. i knew it.. ibu pon pernah cakap yg aku memang yg paling low kat dalam adik beradik... how sad kan??  ok... sebak sejenak... siriyes.. hope to have someone that could lend me her shoulder right now...--->

                                                                   ini sangat aku.....

there go my short semester results...tak lepas pon 3.5... kurang 0.03 to reach that 3.5... mengape?? not like i ever wanted it to be... wanna scream my lungs out right now... with that bad result...

already told my mom, she said, "semua org pon result cam ni ke?" "tak pe lah, nak wat cemane dah usaha kan..." then, we keep it a secret, not gonna tell dad about this... #sadstory

 it get even worst when knowing one of my friend(a close close close friend of mine) got 4.00! others 3.80++ ... my world gets gloomy after that.. tak de bekalan elektrik terus... benar...
ya, tersangatlah sedih... kenape?? kenape?? rasenye aku dah cukup penat stay up... sedihnya hidup ini ya ALLAH.. mungkin aku tak patut ungkit semua ini... dan mungkin juga aku patut muhasabah diri...

but i can say that , i am glad to have friends like you guys...

that close close close friend of mine~
me: jgn tinggal saye sensorg kalau nak gi aussie tu...
sahabat : saya akan heret awak sekali, awak akan dpt tiket pegi aussie tu, pasti, kalau tak saya ikat awak kat kipas plane


rumate terchenta~
me : aku sedih ngan result aku...
rumate : jgn sedih2 ada org lagi besar dugaannya...

qila sahabatku~
me : qila, poiter aku menyedihkan...
qila : okayy la tu. kita sekarang fokus kat cgpa je. ignore je gpa tu. cgpa yg penting sebagai batu loncatan untuk kita fly... AYUH KITA BER-SUMMER PARADISEEE BAIIBYYY...
*qila memang cukup happening time ni...

then i came to a conclusion that...
ALLAH mungkin bagi setimpal dengan ape yg telah kite usahakan... aku redha...
ALHAMDULILLAH~ at least pointer aku masih lagi lepas nak fly... bersyukur... mungkin aku perlu kuat berusaha lagi... mungkin rezeki aku lambat sikit...berbeza dengan mereka... usaha hari tu juga mungkin belum cukup lagi... dan tak lupa juga mendekatkan diri kepada ALLAH.. perlu usaha LEBIH KUAT LAGI!!

semat di dalam hati....

i hope i can keep on moving... and study even harder, pray to ALLAH even even even harder... ALLAH, please guide me...

semoga, aku dan sahabat2ku dapat menjadi manusia yg berguna kepada ibubapa, keluarga dan ummah suatu hari nanti...

kite fly same2 ke australia tau sahabat2.... :') jgn biarkan sorang pon tak dapat tiket flight nanti..

NARUTO ! forever favourite...

i'm the number one fan of naruto !! jyeeaaahh.~~ naruto taught me everything ! loyalty, trustworthy, respect, love, and many mooooree... (u just have to watch naruto i guessed, then u'll know) *hehe

i'll never forget this one, "Ninja breaks the rule", Hatake Kakaishi .. deep mannn...truly deep....

lot more moral values in this story actually...

i'll never forget this pic, naruto always has this pic with him---->

touched me.... :')

my hero, cuz he's sooo cool.... --->

missing...

yeah.. those days have gone missing now, long long ago... and i've been missing all those days when everything are going perfectly as i wished... those days when there are no such things as facebook or twitter and games too.. ye aku rindu semua memori itu .....
when i was a kid (they say) ...............

when i was a kid...
aku tak pernah gi tadika, blaja kat rumah ngan ibu je.. #sadlife
mungkin ini menjadi salah satu faktor aku tak pandai bergaul after that..

when i was a kid...
suke sangat tgok cite detective conan, naruto, blues clues and totally spies... haha.. tgok ngan adik bradik.. time tu semua org tak masuk asrama lagi...

when i was a kid...
slalu gaduh ngan adik bawah aku ni... hisshh.. budak ni memang agak annoying... haha..

when i was a kid...
slalu gak dapat nombo satu skola pagi n petang... gehh... #bajet

when i was a kid...
tak pernah beraya rumah kawan2... sekarang pon.. sebab skola pagi n skola petang memang jaoh... pagi ikut abah.. which is memang jaoh dari rumah....petang kat taman kat rumah ni je...

when i was a kid...
femesss... haha.. ramai r gak dak laki minat ...<----ini sangat bajet... :p  sampai sanggup datang skola even demam sebab admire sorang budak ni... tapi sume dak skola petang...  zaman dolu dolu lah tapinye.. saya sekarang zuhud... gehhh..

when i was a kid...
after makan tengah hari mesti bace suratkhabar kat luar rumah...(school holidays only), sebab terikut ikut ngan abah... haha..baca suratkhabar adalah wajib suatu ketika dahulu..

when i was a kid...
aku percaya bulat2 bile ibu cakap aku anak angkat je... anak misi nora... misi is nurse.. sedih betul time tu... haha.. padahal muke ibu ngan aku memang sebijik! haha.. i was six at that time if i'm not mistaken...

when i was a kid....
hmmm.... memang banyaklah kalo nak cite sume ... bosan je kalo org bace nanti...  cehhh..bajet ramai je readers...

but seriously, the point that i want to stress here is... i miss those days sooooo muuucchhh....
everything has changed now... everything, me myself especially... and people around me too...
but i can say that my mom and dad, and my sisters, havent changed that much... they still the same person that i knew before... always be the person yang akan tunggu aku balik dari asrama (now pre uni) , always rindu aku, always nak spend mase ngan aku...aku je yg kadang kadang buta, tak nampak sume bende tu... ye, aku memang buta... dan aku harap aku tak buta lagi lepas ni...

mintak maaf semua....ibu, abah, along, kaksu, alis... diri ini memang kejam...