Hilang.

dah lama aku cari.. dah lama sangat. tapi sumpah susah nak jumpa rupanya. kabur sungguh dan mahal betul Allah letak harga dia.

Ketenangan jiwa. 
ok kali ni nak muhasabah diri jap. harap dapat memberi manfaat dan pengajaran kepada yang membaca (bajet ramai readers je.. yang tahu pasal kewujudan blog ini pon belum tentu baca. #tetapsedar)

diri ini makin teruk.
yelah, dah tak de tazkirah macam dulu kat tgb, yang selalu akan bincang pasal agama, pasal iman. dah tak de booster untuk buat semua amalan sunat tu.. usrah kat intec, haram aku tak pegi. majlis ilmu, boleh kira ngan jari.

Subahanallah. it quite saddening , u know how it feels like kan.. mungkin sebab akhirnya aku sedar, how my days actually go all this while. since i left that day. that day when everything seems fine and easy, my head was not this heavy and my heart was not this sick. serabut was the best word to describe everything.
it drives me nuts when everyday i keep on asking myself, "eh, asal hidup aku sekarang macam ni?" "sejak bila aku jadi macam ni?" "kenapa aku rasa dulu aku tak macam ni pon..?"

it was frustrating to realize that selama ni, to be specific, most of my days during this year, my life was fully controlled by human and robots (computers) and not even my self, my soul. i tell people to go find their life, yet i'm the one who failed to do so.

everyone in this world obviously have their purpose of living kan (i mean besides mencari keredaan Ilahi and keberkatan DIA.)
but my current purpose (at this very moment and second) : seeking for my life back, and for that permanent n true happiness.

someday, i'll be that muslimah i mean like those muslimah who i adore so much and hoping to be much better.
i hope the distance between that someday and today will get closer and closer.

so let's make a start. (mind joining people?) it's okay even sikit n kecik pon kan.. because Saidatina Aisyah r.anha pernah ditanyakan tentang apakah dia amalan yang terbaik, lalu dijawab oleh beliau, yang terbaik itu ialah satu amalan yang walaupun kecil tetapi mampu dikerjakan secara istiqomah.

kawan- kawan serta sahabat-sahabat sekalian.. ini serious talk. do pray for me and help me along my journey towards being a better muslimah Insha Allah. aku tak nak sesat jaoh lagi doh..
i'm urging myself though because sometimes in order to obey our obligation as HIS servant and for HIM to accept all your amalan fully, kene start dengan paksaan yang konsisten kan..

Firman Allah SWT maksudnya: "Orang-orang yang beriman dan hati mereka menjadi tenteram dengan mengingat Allah. Ingatlah hanya dengan mengingat Allah lah hati menjadi tenteram". (Ar ra'd ayat 28) Wallahu A'lam.

may we meet in Jannah. Amiin..